Sunday, March 29, 2009

Thank Yous continued

To Indie,
Thank you, little man, for being the soul of goofiness.  You have the most joyous personality and it never ceases to amuse me.  Thank you for having a smile through all experiences.  You show me that optimism is always a good thing to hang on to.
Thank you for working so hard with me.  You found me and didn't know who you could trust, so you were quick to use your teeth.  You showed how far you've come when you didn't bite anyone during the x-rays of your broken leg  Now, I am hoping you will become a therapy dog.  You show what hard work and kindness can do.
Thank you for loving to cuddle and always wanting to be petted.  You love to be with people and share it with everyone.  Your silly antics and idea that you are a German Shepherd always make me feel better
I love you.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Let's go for a little less depressing

So I realize that my blog has taken a turn for the depressing and whiny.  I need to remedy that and prove I am not a total emo (haha) so I decided to steal from a message board I'm on.  Someone asked what you would say if you wrote Thank You letters to your pets.  After mulling on this a bit, I thought I'd post them one at a time since they will probably be rather long.

To Dixie,
Thank you for being my heart dog.  When I walked into the shelter that day, I wasn't planning on walking out with a dog.  I wanted a big dog and had never even heard of a Catahoula.  Thank you for always being happy to see me and greeting me with total love and exuberance.  You have a smile that I know you save for me.  Thank you for always knowing when I'm sad and letting me cry into your fur.  Thank you for being brilliant and learning everything I teach you.
Thank you for always wanting to be touching me when you sleep on the bed.  Thank you for wanting to protect me when you think something might harm me.  I know you wouldn't hurt a fly, but your protectiveness always make me feel safer when I'm home alone.
Thank you for being so fabulous that everyone loves you.  Even when you get excited and forget some of your manners, everyone still adores you.  Thank you for progressing in every issue we've worked on.
Thank you for giving me hope of being healthy and training both of us for agility.  Thank you for letting me see the gorgeous sight of you in full run, totally enjoying yourself.  you remind me that life really is about enjoying the simple things and living in the moment.
Thank you for being so gentle with all the other animals.  You are part of the reason Indie is such a great dog now.  You were perfect even when Karma was a one pound ball of fluff.  You even managed to charm Pip, and he was terrified of everything.
Thank you for finding me and getting me through every rough time.  You have been a life saver for me.
I love you.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

I don't cry

Seriously.  Its not my thing.  I didn't cry when I ended my engagement.  I didn't cry when he told me I should get rid of my animals.  I haven't cried through all my hospitalizations.
My arm swelled up again Tuesday night.  It is worse this time than it has been before.  I hurt.  I am in constant sever pain now.  Baptist ER sent me home with an "I don't know."  My surgeon saw me today and doesn't have a clue.
I cried last night.  I saw my graduation in May disappear.  I know that with this episode I won't graduate.  It means missing more school because I am on pain meds to get through the day.  I don't know all the answers, which is a new and tough thing for me.  I can't grasp that doctors aren't that interested in figuring me out.  I can't get admitted where I need to because my doctors don't have the ability to do that.  If I go to the ER, they will probably send me home.
This sucks.  Period.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

They find you when you need them

That is my family's theory on animals. All of our animals have helped us through hard times. That being said, I suppose someone decided that I needed another small furry to help me get through everything right now.
This little guy was found in my backyard by my roommate's dog. I decided to keep him and his name is now Pippin
Check out those baby blues
Nap time!
Taking a bath
Don't forget me mom!
What cha doing?

He has a red tail, nose and ears
Karma likes her baby brother
His blue camo collar...matches his eyes
Prowling the bed savannah

We estimate his age around 13 weeks.  He is will be getting snipped soon (as I will not own an unneutered animal).  He is a total sweetheart and purrs 24/7.  He is gaining confidence and venturing out of my room more and more. 


Sunday, March 22, 2009

"You're not as depressed as I thought you'd be"

That is what my former boss and still mentor said to me on Saturday.  We were talking about everything that has gone on this semester and what might result from it.  He was surprised I'm not super depressed.
Now, I certainly have my moments.  I'm looking at not graduating when I thought I would and not going to vet school for at least another year.  That sucks.  My OCD does not like speed bumps in my life plan.
But, as I told him, what does being depressed get me?  I will still be sick and they still won't know why and my grades will still suck.  So why be depressed on top of it?  If I enjoy everything else and have fun at it, I'm pretty sure I'll be better off than if I was laying in bed bitching and listening to my entire collection of emo music.

Friday, March 20, 2009


I used to tell people that I was a medical mystery. I would like to correct myself and say that then I was a medical anomaly.  Now I am a medical mystery.
I have stumped a surgeon, an infectious disease doctor, an allergist and 2 general practitioners.  I am in sever pain in my left arm.  I bruise if you look at me wrong and won't be wearing anything but long pants until they can fix that.  I'm losing enough hair that I could make a sweater.
My bloodwork is unremarkable, an ultrasound, a doppler and an MRI have shown nothing.
The doctors have no clue.  It could be arthritis, it could be cancer, it could be fibromyalgia, it could be autoimmune.
This is truly one of the most terrifying experiences I have ever been through.  I can't work right now because the pain gives me limited use of my arm.  I can't lift anything with it, I can't even lay on that side without spouting obscenities.  I can't have my dogs with me because I bruise if they jump on me (another reason I can't work).  I've missed about a month of school and it is looking more and more like I won't get to graduate this spring.  I might never get to go to vet school, depending upon the diagnosis.
I'm having a bone scan on Tuesday to see if there is any cancer or any other abnormalities in there.  I'm trying to get into a rheumatologist, but they can't see me until April 20th.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

The "First Post"

So I have joined the rest of the blogging world.  i'd like to think my life is interesting enough that others want to read about it. At least it will probably be amusing.
The basics about me?
I'm a pre-vet student (until May anyways) hoping to eventually get into vet school.  I work as a vet tech in a very diverse area and I love it.
I have 2 dogs, a Catahoula Leopard Dog and a chihuahua/corgi/yorkie/dachshund/godonlyknowswhat mix.  I also have a cat that I hand raised who is a slight holy terror towards the rest of the world.  All three are rescues, which I really support.  I also support spay/neuter of all pets.
I judge people based on their animals.  If you buy a doodle, oodle, shitpoo or any other crossbred, I will frown upon you.  If you breed your animal and it isn't a champion show dog, I wouldn't recommend talking to me.
Animals are one of the main focuses in my life. 
I seriously have the best friends ever.  They have helped me through a lot and I love them for putting up with me.
I have asthma and allergies but I refuse to let that deter me from my passion.
I have 12 piercings and 4 tattoos and I love them all.  No, I didn't get them to rebel, I got them because I like them.
I love watching football and college basketball.  I was raised a Tarheel fan but saw the light and converted to the Wolfpack...who I love even in our bad years.
I don't really like country music.